I love Football.

I’m also a huge fan of personal development. Since my family knows my interests and my passions – they got me “Get Coached” this year for Christmas.

Best Christmas present I think I’ve ever opened!

You might have seen this on TV. “Get Coached” is a set of 5 DVD’s, each featuring a celebrated and highly successful Football Coach. Each, share the secrets of their success both on and off the field.

The complete Get Coached 5 DVD Box set features one Coach who shares his success secrets on the following topics :

• Mike Ditka – “Total Commitment”
• Bobby Bowden – “God, Family and Football”
• Mike Singletary – “A Vision of Faith”
• Sean Payton -“Aim High”
• Rex Ryan – “Give It All You Got”

When it comes to sports – we think nothing of having a “Coach”. When it comes to the game of life however – it’s probably the furthest thing from most people’s minds – and that’s a huge mistake. Especially if you want to reach new levels and become successful in life and business. Each Coach has their own lessons on how you can empower yourself with the necessary tools to achieve great things.

What I find fascinating about this set is that many of the life lessons taught by these great men are lessons I’ve heard before. Much of what’s taught can be found in other books, seminars, and DVD’s. What this tells me (as it should you) is that success leaves clues. Doesn’t matter if it’s playing the game of football or the game of life – the principles found in this box set are universal for anyone who wants to achieve success.

Don’t take my word for it – here are several quotes from Amazon.com from others who have either purchased the DVD box set outright or gotten it as a gift:

These guys really get me PUMPED-UP to TACKLE ANY CHALLENGE! Each track is like your very own locker room pep talk (kick in the rear). Whenever I need some quick motivation, I just throw in one of these DVDs and instantly GET MY GAME ON! Also great for downloading to your iPod.

Not just for sports fans – these DVDs are for anyone who wants to advance their life through the guidance and experience of these highly successful, elite motivators, and winners.

This is one of the best motivational tools I have ever come across. The applicability of the messages are incredible, and the inclusion of some of the greatest football minds in the World enables the messages to be driven home with great effectiveness. This is a fantastic product that will make a great gift for the Holidays. A must see for anyone looking for motivation, both football fans and non-football fans alike. I only hope there are more DVDs of this type planned for the future!

The concept of highlighting Football Coach’s may be new – but the lessons found in this box set are timeless. I not only love the format (being an avid football fan) but it drives home that success is a strategy – not random luck.

Even more fascinating for me, was how I’ve gotten to know each of these men in greater detail. I gotta be honest – I never really liked Rex Ryan. He’s a bit much for my taste. But after watching his DVD, I have a new appreciation for what he stands for and what makes him tick. I actually understand why he is the way he is – and appreciate his methodology.

Sean Payton I’ve always liked for some reason and after watching his DVD – I have a tremendous amount of respect for what he’s accomplished as a coach of Saints. (Make that World Champion Saints.)

Like many of the other reviews I found and highlighted here, I also highly recommend this box set for anyone looking for tools and inspiration. It’s a set I’m using for my personal goals in 2011 and one that I’ll be watching over and over throughout the years. If there’s another series in the works – I’ll be one of the first in line to buy it.

If you’ve been thinking about this set for yourself – about all I can say (as taught to me from these fine men) is get yourself into the game. There is no thinking about it – and there is no try. You either will or you won’t.

Make the decision to commit and just do it.

You’ll be glad you did.

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A week or so ago the toilet in the kids bathroom wouldn’t stop running.

Now this toilet was practically brand new. I had replaced it only 3 or 4 years earlier because one of my kids had jammed one of their toys inside the “s” that flushed everything down the drain. Funny thing is, I remember having that broken toilet sit there for like two months before I finally got up enough nerve to replace it myself. I had never done a project like this before and the thought of doing it freaked me out.

Once I got into the project and actually did it however, I come to find out that it was actually a breeze to replace.

Since then, I’ve become quite the handy man around the house, and replaced all the toilets in the house with low flush units that save water. I also saved a costly replacement up at my parents last Christmas when my 1 year old niece shoved a cup down their toilet, blocking the flow of water down the drain.

A quick run to the local hardware store for a $2.00 wax ring enabled me to take the unit off the floor, snag the cup lodged in the drain and put the unit right back where it was within about 10 minutes. (A plumber would have cost $175 just to roll the truck.) It not only saved a lot of money, but also saved our family from the unsightly “butt crack” that plumbers are so famous for. ;-P

After taking a brief look at new leak we had in the kids bathroom, on the surface it looked as if the gasket in the holding tank that released the reserve water had broken it’s seal. From the look of it, the glue holding the gasket in place had dissolved and the rubber gasket wouldn’t properly seal the water inside the tank. A quick fix for this was a trip to the local Home Depot for a universal valve to replace the inside of the unit.

What I didn’t take into account until after I got home with the new valve was the size of the existing valve, which was quite larger than the universal replacement I just bought. As a result, I’d had to go direct to Kohler for the replacement part.

So yesterday the part comes in and I go to work on the new unit. Because the unit held the reserve water inside one part, releasing it into the other, I had every intention in taking the holding tank off to replace the new valve. Fortunately however, I took just a brief moment to take a closer look at the new unit, and more specifically the gasket in question that had become dislodged from its proper position.

What I had assumed was glued on by some type of water proof adhesive, wasn’t the case at all. Instead, the rubber gasket merely came out of the ridge holding it there. I simply couldn’t see or feel the ridge from the perspective I had been looking. Because I was looking down from above, instead of below, I had no idea the ridge even existed.

After seeing how the gasket was actually placed into position from my new perspective I was able to place existing gasket back into the ridge holding it there by feel – without any need to disassemble a single bolt or screw.

Once again, what I had been dreading all this time, wasn’t the case at all after taking a closer look and actually going through the motions. The new valve will be going back to Kohler today for a full refund.

The moral of this story is that we all make assumptions based on our current perspective. Fear is nothing more than False Evidence Appearing Real, and I’m just as guilty as the next guy right out of the gate. Our minds are well potty trained to be “in the toilet” – and by that I mean that little voice inside that says “You’re not good enough” – or – “You’re not worthy” – or “It’s too difficult”.

The difference with me over the last couple of years is I’ve been fortunate enough to not only question those limiting beliefs, but have been given some amazing tools that change these beliefs entirely. It’s rather empowering. The more I clear the weeds that have been chocking me all these years, the clearer I see things. In addition, as I put these principles into action, challenging the fear head on that it’s too difficult, I find that I’ve always had the capability to do whatever I want already within me. I simply had to have an opportunity to apply it.

And there’s the rub. So many times, we just let fear stop us dead in our tracks. We accept that little voice as truth instead of mere illusion. Not only do I catch myself doing it, I see others doing it on a regular basis.

Have you ever stopped to think who told you it couldn’t be done? Really – think about that for a moment. How did that belief get there in the first place? You certainly weren’t born with it – like someone stamped you with either “Worth” or “Yuck – Unworthy!” when you were born. So who embedded that kind of programming? Maybe it was your parents, or another relative. Maybe kids you hung out with growing up. In fact, I still see it in grown adults. (Think about the high and mighty Travel Agents who have done nothing but poke and pry at those of us in YTB.) Point is, it was placed there by someone else, and we’ve all bought into it for one reason or another.

Truth is, it’s nothing but an illusion. I had all kinds of false perceptions running through my head over changing a simple gasket in a toilet, when in reality that perception was eventually flushed down the drain after taking a closer look.

It’s entirely up to you what perceptions or beliefs you hold and the actions you take that dictate what type of life you live. Just do me a favor and awaken to the possibility that there may be another perspective or alternative to what you’re thinking when your mind is in the toilet.

You may find that you can very easily flush it right down the drain never to be seen or heard from again.

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Remember the exercise on goals we posted from good friend Andy Cauthen at the beginning of the year?

Do you really remember – or are those ‘goals’ distant memories by now? If they are, I’ve been there. (Done that – and also have a t-shirt that says so.)

Some years I do really well with this exercise, while other years – not so much. The biggest difference for me during this year’s goals setting was being sick and tired of all the crap. For the most part, I’ve always chosen to enjoy life. So much so, that I have a really hard time understanding why people feel this need to complain (on a daily basis no less) about what’s wrong.

Truth is – the only thing wrong is THEIR thinking and perspective. What you focus on expands. If negativity and lack are what’s running around in your head, that’s what’s going to show up in reality for you. On the other hand, if you what you focus on is abundance and good – evidence of the same will show up for you.

I made a conscious decision to move in the direction of prosperity and good this year and focus on the natural abundance that nature creates effortlessly. Sometimes that’s easier said than done – but if you can take that first step in the right direction – you’ll move mountains with ease.

Best example I can think of is my own personal experience this summer.

Every summer for the last couple of years I swim laps for exercise. In years past, I would do my laps during the adult swim sessions that the Life Guards would mandate every hour during the summer. Last year, the Home Owners Association decided not to renew the contract with the Life Guard Company, which meant the adult swim time was taken away as well. Therefore, I never got into a rhythm or kept up with my exercise routine.

I not only felt like crap – the guilt for not exercising ate at me all summer long.

This year however, I decided I was going to make time because it was on my goals sheet. I love the swimming experience and it’s truly the only exercise I enjoy. Our entire family loves the water.

It had been two years since I’ve done regular laps in the pool – and at the beginning of the summer it was all I could do to complete just 4 laps in the pool without my arms and legs going limp on me. It also took me forever to recover from such a short stint.

But I kept up with it. Sometimes I had to swim around kids. Other times – I had to head down first thing in the morning or late at night to get my swimming in.

As the summer progressed, I felt myself getting stronger and stronger every week. As a consequence, I felt better and better as the weeks went on with more and more laps being done every week and more and more energy to complete other tasks on my goals list.

Later today, I’ll head down to the pool and swim 1.4 miles or 40 laps without stopping and my arms and legs won’t give it a second thought. It’s become so routine and part of my everyday life that once the pool closes in two weeks, I’ll keep up with it the rest of the year in an indoor pool because it’s something I truly enjoy.

As an added benefit – I find myself thinking more powerfully. Those good vibes radiate out and have attracted more and more opportunities in my life that match what I’m thinking and feeling inside.

This shift in thinking and feeling has been so profound that I’ve befriended on of the most knowledgeable and professional people in the travel industry who has offered up an incredible opportunity to me this weekend. It’s still just an idea at this point, and there’s some ground work that needs to be done before I can open up what it’s all about. If you’re serious about selling travel and have a sincere desire about learning more from the best of the best – you’ll want to keep close tabs in the next few weeks to find out more.

All I can tell you at this point is this: This idea that critics attempt to embed in your belief system that you’re not good enough, not smart enough, and simply can’t accomplish because you’re involved in with a company that “recruits” via MLM – is pure crap. Everything I’ve either known or at the very least suspected about the people who truly make a difference in the travel industry has been verified as absolutely true this weekend in a very enlightening phone conversation.

I’ve been writing about it for years – and it’s because of what I’ve documented here – on this blog and in our newsletter – that I’ve attracted an opportunity that everyone can benefit from.

I’ve got a lot of projects going on right now – and getting this set up will take some time to cross the “T’s” and dot the “I’s” but I truly believe it’s what’s best for our company and the people who are involved. Therefore, it will fall into place in due time.

If you’re passionate about YTB Travel and the travel industry – I promise – you’re going to love it!

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I’m not a big fan of Network Television. I will watch an hour or two a week for shear entertainment value – but I can’t remember the last time I saw even a minute of Network News. It’s been years. I’d rather listen to an audio book, participate in a webinar or conference call or find a home study course to feed my mind as I continue to learn and grow. The only exception I make in arranging my schedule is during Football season, and that can turn into an entire day, typically on Sunday when I’m taking a break anyway.

Hey – I’ve been a Football fan all my life and this old dog ain’t about to turn a new trick when it comes to my Pittsburgh Steelers.

A show that I do have an interest in however airs on NBC tonight – the first of six primetime episodes entitled Breakthrough with Tony Robbins. It’s reality TV with a twist – it’s designed to inspire and enlighten you which is typical Robbins.

Some of the oldest tapes I have in my library (which should tell you how long I’ve been of fan) are from Tony Robbins. He’s one of the earliest mentors I can think of for personal development and self-improvement. In an effort to reach and positively impact even more people, Tony Robbins has created 6 one-hour primetime television specials that begin airing on NBC starting this Tuesday, July 27th at 8 p.m., 7 Central. They will run every Tuesday evening for the next six Tuesdays including tonight.

I applaud Tony for putting something positive out there in the main stream media. One of the reasons I haven’t watched a network news program in years is because it’s so negative. This person killed here – that robbery there – and the economy as always – in the toilet. If you really think about it – do you really need to know how many murders and robberies there are?

If something is important enough that you need to know – it’s going to make it’s rounds in one form or another. I certainly don’t need to go looking for it.

Tony has always been different. He’s offered tools and insights to improve people’s lives. If you’re a follower of Tony like I am, you’re going to want to tell friends, clients, family or anyone you care for about this show. Some will thank you – others will ignore you – while I’m sure there will be others that scorn you for telling them. (If that’s the case – maybe you need to reconsider who you call “friends”.)

Here’s a little bit about the show that came through an e-mail from Chet Holmes (more on Chet latter):

After more than a dozen offers and years of turning away producers and networks, Tony finally found a format that appealed to him and one that can really impact you, your friends, family and clients.

I was in the studio audience for segments of some of these shows, and there was not a dry eye in the house. You will be inspired, moved, motivated and profoundly affected. I mean this first episode is a knockout. Imagine you’re on your honeymoon and jump in the pool and hit your head on a step and, wham, you’re a quadriplegic for life.

That doesn’t just affect you. It seriously impacts your loved ones. In the very first episode, Tony shows you that “the story” you tell yourself shapes the entire quality of your life. Powerful. You have to see it.

But wait! There’s more! (I’ve always wanted to say that for some reason.)

Tony and Chet built a program called: Four Ways to Double Sales in 12 months. Because your reading this – you’ll be able to download that program as well. Even in this bad economic period, all four of these ideas help dramatically strengthen any company and give you paths to serious success.

Chet offered the free training in the e-mail —a 90 minute program from Chet Holmes and Tony Robbins absolutely free. (And no registration or e-mail required either.) You can download it here.

For more information and insight into tonight’s powerful new show, you can read more about it and watch a couple more videos @ www.breakthroughinsider.com. Everyone in the personal development and marketing world that I communicate with is talking about it. (About two dozen e-mails yesterday.)

Personally – knowing what Tony is all about and how he’s transformed lives – I can’t wait.

PS - If you're involved with YTB, sign up for our FREE Newsletter. As a Website Owner or Website Seller, we'll keep you up to date with all the latest news, acquisitions, and developments with YTB.

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Have you even seen a bucket of crabs at the beach? Ever notice that you don’t need a lid once you have more than one? If there was only one crab in the bucket it would certainly escape. However, when there is more than one crab in the bucket, if one tries to crawl out, the other crabs would grab hold and pull it back down so that it would share the same fate as the rest of them.

And I’ve seen my share of humans who are no different.

It’s such a strange phenomenon and I haven’t quite figured out why people feel the need to do something so selfish and stupid.

And nobody who attempts to better themselves is immune.

It’s during these times that you have to make some tough choices between your own goals and dreams and the company you keep.

Here’s the thing: THEY don’t have to live with your decision – YOU do.

The first time I felt stuck inside a bucket was when I was trying to break into radio right out of college. The school told me that it wasn’t a viable career. Friends told me I wasn’t good enough. I remember my own father asking me how long I was going to chase my fantasy of a full time gig in radio.

At the time, I was doing whatever I could to keep my head above water doing odd jobs while doing part time gigs in radio. It was about two years after dropping out of college. I had a full time job as a janitor at the time – mopping floors and cleaning bathrooms during the week, then driving to Youngstown, Ohio for the weekend to do overnights at a top 40 radio station.

It was so long ago, I can’t remember how much longer it took (but it was only a matter of weeks maybe months) after that I got my first full time gig that launched my full time radio career.

I never let go of that dream. I guess because if I did – I’d be thinking to this day “What if”.

I’ve run into the same type of crabs in Network Marketing with these illusions that it’s not a viable career. That’s it’s something less than “worthy”. (As if they have a right to make that call. LOL!) They’ll do whatever they can to chastise and condemn the industry in an attempt to make it so unattractive that you’ll stay right inside the bucket.

Like my radio career however, I found a number of successful marketers who were willing to support me and help pull me out of the bucket and get me away from the crabs who wanted me to share in their misery.

That’s the difference between humans and crabs. You can always find another human who’s willing to mentor you and support you – especially in the network marketing industry.

Truth is – I’ve never been involved in a more supportive industry in my life. The industry is overloaded with mentors and support. Nor have I been surrounded by more gratitude and love.

If you spend enough time and get yourself plugged in – you’ll find them too. Good natured people willing to feed your body and soul with healthy food and nourishment. Before long, you’ll realize that it’s not only much more attractive outside the bucket – but there’s a lot more room.

Given enough time, you’ll find yourself on the outside looking in. Looking inside the bucket today – all I see are a bunch of crabby people who are just too stupid and selfish to figure out that supporting one another would save the entire bucket.

Don’t let the crabs in your life keep you from your goals and dreams. Stay focused and determined and you’ll find the right type of humans that will help pull you out of the bucket.

Trust me, there’s a lot more room and support outside than in. ;-P

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Before YTB, I was living the American Dream – or so I thought. The “reality” was I had been bumbling through a number of companies that left me high and dry. Any illusions I had about the corporate world were quickly being shatter. Family Golf ran out of money and was bought out by an Asian group who promptly fired everyone. Anicom got caught cooking their books – was shut down by the FTC and the founders imprisoned. ISP lost its manufacturing contracts to the internet for the territories I covered. iAutomate never reached the internet dominance it aimed to achieve and was downsized. And my last stint with Hi-Fi Buys eventually ended in bankruptcy court.

The American Dream of getting a good education and finding a J.O.B. was a carrot I wasn’t willing to chase any longer. My discontent over the lie about working for someone else had me frustrated and looking for options when YTB came knocking.

Three guys – Coach, Scott and Kim turned me onto the idea of being in business for myself. They offered my first products I could offer and sell as an “independent representative”. Harv Ecker and Bob Proctor soon followed in my journey who showed me other income streams. All of the streams they create are “passive” – meaning I don’t have to be there to generate income. Guys like Mike Dillard taught me the value of branding myself. If you’re a newsletter subscriber, you’ve heard that name before – and many have bought Mike’s Magnetic Sponsoring courses. Mike’s primary business teaches the value of something called a “funded proposal”.

Coach, Scott and Kim taught the value of building a business within the YTB business, but I also like what Mike calls it.

“You, Inc.”

I became a student of “You, Inc.”. While everyone knows I’m tied to YTB, now ZamZuu – my brand is “Just Picture It Now”. With this brand, I now own a well visited blog with various tools and affiliate products that create income. I also own a list of subscribers that now reach thousands each and every week. Auto-responders within our newsletter create a steady stream of income that work on auto-pilot. Articles on this blog also create a steady stream of income with well ranked organic links. Articles I’ve written years ago continue to produce income almost every month. Those are the passive income streams that Ecker and Proctor taught me.

“You Inc.” provides me the option to pursue opportunities that interest me such as writing, up-in-coming technology, and pay-per-click income that keeps my brand diversified, fresh and profitable. I pick and choose who and what I promote with incredible flexibility and versatility. This diversity has enabled me to stay with YTB far longer without any worry of the outside forces attempting to tear it down. The economic meltdown of late 2008 and 2009 and the hit the travel industry took forced many to make changes. The needless “YTB bashing” that goes on about their “model” being something other than viable or legitimate has forced others to make changes as well.

Me? I was diversified enough that income actually increased while millions all over the country were being laid off, downsized or scrambling to find other sources of income which had dried up.

I’ve always been an independent thinker. I never would have gotten involved with YTB in the first place if I wasn’t. I saw right through the hype and trash talk about pyramid schemes that we often see from those who haven’t any experience to speak of. I’ve heard it said that if somebody tells you what they think – take it with a grain of salt. If someone tells you what they’ve experienced however – you better listen.

What I’m about to tell you may sound shocking to some – controversial to others – but it rings true for me. Based on my experience in the corporate world, the bickering and fighting going on by traditional travel agents who have seen commissions either diminish or completely vanish and the Directors in YTB who built large organizations who are now with different companies – I’ve come to this conclusion.

True independence and success comes from multiple opportunities and various streams of passive income.

Last week YTB announced its new Director level and enhanced compensation starting at 250 active IBC’s. The new level also provides additional guaranteed income with fully paid medical and life insurance paid for by the company. I didn’t write about it here, but I did put it in last weekend’s newsletter – because it’s news. Honestly, when I heard about the new level, I was surprised at me first initial thought’s. When I did put it out on my newsletter to my subscribers, it was uncomfortable.

Then, earlier this week I was asked to pick either YTB or my other “ventures” and my gut reaction was shocking – even to me.

As good as the Directors program is and as much as it provides to individuals and their families – it’s not the right goal or option for me.

I’m an “Independent Representative” not a “Director”.

How do you like them apples?

I got into YTB to create my own independence. Over the last 6 years I’ve built and now utilize several profitable income streams. It’s enabled me to survive the chaos and the slandering where others haven’t because they were counting on a single source. Directors who built large organizations are now gone because they relied on one company. Travel Agents have been bickering for years, or are out of business doing something else because they rely on one stream. Even I was forced to jump from company to company for years because I relied on a single revenue streams before I found YTB.

The true value for me in YTB are all the income streams – not the Directors program. The position lands me right back where I was 6 years ago and doesn’t provide the current options and streams I’ve been able to create and build on my own.

It’s not that I’m upset or angry with YTB. To the contrary – I couldn’t have dreamed of a better vehicle to start my journey. YTB has been a wonderful experience for me and was the first company to provide multiple streams. I had never been with a company with so many possibilities prior. Likewise, the Director program is a first of its kind. The medical, life and guaranteed income benefits not only rival but are the envy of the corporate world. With benefits like these – the company has every right to attach reasonable conditions for that privilege.

It’s their company and they make the rules.

But as good as it is and as much as I wanted it – along the way I found my own true independence and own income streams where I make the rules.

The world has changed. Likewise, the internet and technology continues to evolve and change at a rapid pace. It’s exciting – it’s fresh. The internet offers up endless possibilities and an abundance of opportunities to market and promote whatever I want. It didn’t really occur to me until I was asked to make a choice between my own business here on the internet and the one I run with YTB. Without realizing it until this week – I’ve successfully generated a brand that’s more valuable and meaningful on my own.

I don’t know what’s going to happen over the next couple of days guys. While my gut reaction was instant and sure – I told YTB that I had to think about it. But my gut has never been wrong. It’s a message from the Divine. There may be an applicable resolution to all this that I can do both – and I’d like to do both. I love YTB – and I especially love the people I’ve been able to help. Thousands rely and count on me each and every week to inform and mentor them. I’m not looking to steal anyone or trash YTB in any way. That’s selfish and unprofessional.

Overall, YTB has been far too good to me and I’m incredibly grateful to them for showing me the path to my own independence and freedom.

But I also own this blog and my list of subscribers which provided me the freedom and flexibility to speak my own mind and provide my own path.

I’m at complete peace with anything that may come my way. If I can survive horrendous economic conditions and needless trashing of a company I promoted wholeheartedly – I can survive anything.

That my friends is real – true independence.

PS - If you're involved with YTB, sign up for our FREE Newsletter. As a Website Owner or Website Seller, we'll keep you up to date with all the latest news, acquisitions, and developments with YTB.

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Everybody needs to blow off steam every once in a while. Some do it by yelling. Others do it by crying. Others, sad to say, do it with physical violence. Others, do it on the computer by writing e-mails and posts on forms and blogs.

My father is one of the most even keel individuals I know. It’s not that he doesn’t show emotion – we laugh quite a bit. But I’ve only seen real anger and frustration by him once in my entire life.

It was aimed at me, and after making amends years ago can freely admit that it was totally my fault.

I was in high school at the time and just beginning an addiction that thank goodness didn’t last very long. I was 25 when I sobered up and had my last drink or drug more than 20 years ago. The addiction started by holding on to anger and resentment for a move our family made my Junior year. Feeling like a victim I convinced myself that it was my father’s fault. I justified my drug use as a way to make him suffer – the way I was suffering.

I came to realize after I sobered up that the anger wasn’t anger at all – but selfishness. The move fulfilled a dream of my father’s as Senior Pastor of a very large church that had been around since he was in high school. It was the highest position in the Western Pennsylvania Conference without being promoted to Bishop. My father found his bliss and spent 26 years there. While he would have served the Conference as Bishop, it wasn’t where he truly wanted to be.

He was in the prime of his Ministry and there I was, a high school punk that blamed him for leaving my friends and the opportunities I had my Junior and Senior year of High School. He was supposed to sacrifice his dreams for mine – I was more important.

I received several e-mails from an individual Saturday morning who has much the same type of resentment and anger towards me for living my dreams. I know it’s hard to believe, but there are individuals who “loath” me. It was difficult for me to understand his immense anger and frustration. We’ve never really formed any type of relationship, never even spoken on the phone or met in person. We live in completely different parts of the country, and I have no care or concern about who this individual is or what he does.

I asked this person what he wanted from me. Did they need me to lash back with insults and name calling? Did they want me to get as angry as they were? Did they want me to own the resentment and bitterness?

His response was that he needed nothing because I was worthless.

While stating that I hold no value to him – he was illustrating the opposite in time, energy, and anger towards me. If there wasn’t any value, there wouldn’t be any need to even turn on the computer. Yet, there were several lengthy rants about how much I suck and what I can do with my worthless little life.

Oh my…

So what do we do with these type of actions? Ironically, he gave me the answer in one of his lengthy rants when he created the illusion in his mind that I was a “dry drunk”.

It’s called the “Serenity Prayer” and it goes like this:

“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things I can.
And the wisdom to know the difference.”

When I asked this individual what he wanted me to do, I had surrendered his illusions about me as his own. I couldn’t control them, I couldn’t change them, and I couldn’t help him. He was far too emotional to even consider it at that point.

If I did take ownership of any of his statements – I would have been on the computer all day in “payback”. Instead, I spent time with family on the first weekend our pool was open. I also spent time with my son at a birthday party for one of his school buddies. Never really giving any of his statements much time until this morning – and that I DO have control over.

Another one of my favorite quotes comes from Harv Ecker and it goes like this.

Everything is neutral. Nothing has meaning except for the meaning that you give it.

That sounds really good, but it’s much more difficult to pull off than most people think. One because were not programed to think like that. And two, you have to let go of all the egos (including your own) that create the illusion that mere words have value. If successful, you’ve found pure serenity and harmony – a truly natural state of existence that you were born with.

Admittedly, I’m still a work in progress – still learning to let go. I think about the years it took me to relearn how to operate without a drink or drug in my system. Today, it’s a very simple choice of abstinence. It’s not that I don’t think about drugs or alcohol – but it no longer controls me in a way that destroys my logical – rational thinking.

Recovery isn’t about “not drinking” – it about learning and using tools that enable better management of your life. It’s an awakening that I’m grateful for and can share with others because there are many life lessons that can be tied into every day life.

Some clearly don’t get that – and that’s okay. Those same tools can be used for a few of overzealous critics too. ;-P

Bitterness and anger can overwhelm you if you let it. It’s not that we can avoid it completely. We’re all human after all. But there comes a time when you just have to think to yourself:

How is this serving me or anyone else I come in contact with?

If there isn’t – it’s time to let it go and move on…

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