Remember those goals we wrote about at the beginning of the year? Just wanted to do a little check up with you on how they’re going.

As January comes to a close next week we’re coming up on the time of year when the fitness clubs start to thin out, McD0nald’s and other fast food service restaurants begin to see an increase in profits, and sales for Nicorette gums and patches drop way down. It’s much more noticeable this time of year because everyone comes into the new year with a bang, only to fade off weeks later and go back to a comfort zone they’re familiar with.

If you’re in the Network Marketing or Direct Sales industry, you see this kind of thing all year long. That’s why I never get too disappointed when someone tells me no, nor do I get too excited when they say yes and sign up. You learn very quickly that talk is cheap.

Those who have a big enough “why” however, have a much better chance to achieve the goals they’ve set out before them. My grandfather for example had two heart attacks and a mild stroke when I was young. After his second heart attack, the doctor told him he’d never be able to more than walk the dog around the block for the rest of his life. He was in his 40’s at the time, and that’s all he needed to hear in order to quit smoking cold turkey and start exercising.

When I was 16, the two of us rode together on a 50 mile bike ride. (And I was the one who struggled.)

He’s 90 this year, and still walks to the grocery store, the doctor – dentist – and various other locations to keep him active.

He had a big why.

I got into this industry for a pretty big why too.

Security.

See, both Ronda and I had been burned far too many times in the corporate world. Four months after our son Brian was born, Ronda was laid off at Bellsouth after 6 years of service. I had been in the golf industry with a very large company who filed bankruptcy. I then moved to wire and cable with a company who was shut down by the Securities and Exchange Commission for fraud. (Cooking the books.) I worked for Gateway for a short time in their stores before they closed them and went into the big box stores. And my last stint in traditional business was a company called Hi-Fi Buys which I got out of when rumors started to surface about bankruptcy. (Which they eventually did.)

I’ve been with YTB for 5 years now – which is longer than all those other companies combined.

What YTB did for me was teach me how to be self sufficient. It’s also given me an incredible amount of self confidence. One of the reasons I’ve stuck with the company even with all the doom and gloom I use to hear about – I have the tools, mindset, and skills today to not only survive – but thrive on my own.

I never would have learned all that if I didn’t have a big enough why.

My peers at the time, the companies I worked for, nor did any schools teach me anything about being in business for myself. It wasn’t until I got around others like Coach, my Directors, and other Network Marketers that I needed to think about a company called “You, Inc.”

“You, Inc.”, has taught me how to look at a problem and come up with a solution to solve that problem. Look at my newsletter – now with thousands of subscribers. All started because I was smart enough to see a solution to a communication problem. I look at the market, realize what it needs, and offer services and products that cater to that market. It’s built trust and stability for me that I just couldn’t get in the corporate world.

All because I had a big enough why.

Even with all the ups and downs that YTB has had over the years – it’s a far better alternative and much more rewarding than working in the corporate rat race.

Find your why and you’ll have the same passion and stability. It won’t necessarily make the road less difficult, but it will give you the extra burst to break through to the other side to realize the rewards of the goals you’ve set.

Opportunity will knock for those who are ready, willing, and have a big enough why.

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Do You ZamZuu?

I had the following story forwarded to me this weekend by one of my subscribers. I have no idea who the author is, or it’s origins. Heck, I don’t even know if it’s true or not. (Although if it isn’t – it should be.)

If you do an internet search on this piece you’ll find pages and pages of this piece – my guess is because it’s touched a lot of lives. My hope is that’s exactly what it does for you.

Change Your Thinking

It will take just 37 seconds to read this and change your thinking.

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.

One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs.

His bed was next to the room’s only window.

The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end.

They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation..

Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity an color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake.

Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats.

Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by.

Although the other man could not hear the band – he could see it in his mind’s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days, weeks and months passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep.

She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.

He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed.

It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.

She said, ‘Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.’

Epilogue:

There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.

Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.

If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can’t buy.

‘Today is a gift, that is why it is called The Present.’

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Do You ZamZuu?

I love this time of year. My creativity seams to flow much better after I’ve done a good round of goal setting.

I’ve done goal setting for years. In 2005 I wrote down “new business”, and two weeks later we got a call about YTB. In 2006 I did a round of goal setting and within minutes of putting down on paper the word “writing”, I got a call about some new thing called a blogging. Two years ago I started our Newsletter, complete with a full “7 Day Quick Start” guide to help team members get up and running. None of these ideas were anything more than a thought that was transferred from my head to a piece of paper and then circled as one of the things I wanted to focus my time on.

I couldn’t tell you if any of these opportunities would have come to me if I didn’t spend time thinking about what I wanted to do in my life. Ever since I was introduced to “The Secret” some years ago, I have found some compelling evidence both from personal experience and from what I’ve read that what the mind can conceive it can achieve.

One of the things I’ve learned over the years is to take “inspired action”. Joe Vitale (as well as many others) tell you to follow your small hunches. You may not know where it will lead, but if you do – you’ll be doing exactly what you suppose to do. I know there are many “Christians” who read this blog, and you call that force God. For others who feel more comfortable with “The Universe”  – you can use that terminology if you want.

Think about this phrase for a minute.

“Ask and you shall receive.”

What kills me is that so many people ask for things like a new car, a million dollars, a new soul mate and then just sit there waiting – and waiting – aaaand waiting.

Then end up complaining that it never happens.

That’s because they forgot about another quote that I know they’ve heard over and over again – but never actually do.

“Faith without works is dead.”

The point here is that when you ask for things like a new car, a million dollars, or a new soul mate and focus your energy thinking about those things, opportunities begin to present themselves to nudge you in that direction. It’s up to you to not only recognize what those opportunities are, but to actually move in that direction. If you do, you’ll find that thought an “inspired step” in the direction you want not only moves you closer to your intended goal, but this simple step turns out to be a thoroughly enjoyable experience.

Why? Because that’s what God (or The Universe) wants you to do!

Look…here’s a recent example of what I’m talking about.

One of the items on my list of goals was an overhaul of our newsletters auto-responder “7 Day Quick Start Guide”. I’ve changed this guide a few times since I first created it two years ago. One of the nice things about auto-responders is that once it’s written it works on auto-pilot from then on. That being said – it can often take a back seat because it’s done and you really don’t have to think about it much longer.

This series however has been in need of an overhaul or some time. With all the changes to YTB since it was first published there were areas that needed to be updated and produced to provide a more timely and effective program.

Thanks to GoodDay@YTB and Andy Cauthen’s Goal Setting Tips that I published here on the blog and also provided in our Newsletter a brand new stream of subscribers have been opting-in to our Newsletter. I see spikes in subscribers from time to time, but this particular spike got me thinking.

“What if all these subscribers could get that new series I want to do from my goals list?”

That one little hunch or thought – prompted me to actually start my overhaul of the series – and as a result my series has been taken to a whole new level. It’s like being in “The Zone”. New ideas – new topics – new documents – a completely new look and feel that I feel really – really good about. The more I dive into this project – the more I know that this is exactly what I should be doing right now.

What I first thought to be a major “chore” and really didn’t want to do because of all the work it entails has completely turned around to be a truly inspiring and moving experience for me.

Why? I took “Inspired Action”. This thought – opportunity – project – whatever you want to call it – was presented at the best possible time for me because without knowing it – I was ready to do it.

But I would have never known unless I followed up on this hunch.

I think back a rainy night in January some five years ago after our introduction to YTB with an Opportunity Meeting. I remember talking with Ronda about this business as we weighed the possibilities and the obstacles that presented itself during our drive home. I had no idea if this business was for real – nor was it a proven leader like it is today.

But that one small voice – a hunch – a gut feeling told me that this was the right place at the right time for me.

Based on that hunch am I a millionaire? No.

Do I live in some mansion sitting beside the water? No

Am I financially independent with no worries or problems? Hardly.

But I DO have a business that’s provided for myself and my family. Not only that,  I’ve probably grown more as a person and as a business man over the last five years than any other time in my life. I also have a closer relationship with family and more friends than I could ever ask for. It’s been one of the most rewarding, most productive, and most enjoyable times of my entire life.

I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Stop and actually think the next time an idea or thought comes and rattles around in your head. Most of the time our past programming automatically negates it as either too hard or even worse -  impossible.

Kennedy wanted to put a man on the moon before the end of the 1960’s. Was that too hard? Was that impossible?

Just because you set a goal or state an intention of what you want doesn’t mean it’s going to happen. There’s work involved in anything worth while and many times you have to swim out to it instead of just having it was up on shore.

But if you follow your hunches – your gut instinct – not only will it lead you in the right direction – but you’ll have a blast doing it.

Take hold of that thought and use it to take Inspired Action. You’ll never know until you do how enjoyable life can really be.

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Do You ZamZuu?

So, how do they look so far? Remember – “If you aim at nothing, you’ll hit it every time”.

We spent the majority of Saturday ‘De-Christmasing’ the house. As we were packing all the ornaments and lights for another year, we kept thinking about our goals and got more and more excited about the new year. While the Holiday’s have been great, we’re ready to get back to work!

We sent out our Monthly Newsletter on Friday and also posted 76 “Goal Setting Tips” that President and COO of YTB Marketing Andy Cauthen put together. We checked some of our stats late Saturday night and were completely blown away over how many people actually downloaded Andy’s “Guide”.

It’s EMPOWERING isn’t it??!!

Now that your goals are out of your head and onto something you can see like paper our thinking and perspective has changed dramatically. It makes a big difference – and somehow these goals that have been nothing more than passing thoughts have substance and passion behind them.

Believe it or not – the hard part is over – actually taking the time to write these goals down. Now comes the fun part – going after them.

To some, this may seem like a daunting or impossible task.

Jack Canfield, author of “Chicken Soup for the Soul ” and one of the teachers of the hit movie “The Secret” expressed in this same movie that we can drive at night only seeing the next 200 yards in front of us to reach our intended destination. Reaching a Goal is much the same way. You know it’s there, but you find your way a little bit at a time.

Just remember that the impossible can be broken down into possibilities. Napoleon Hill said “Whatever the mind can conceive and believe – the mind can achieve.”

Everything you see and use today was first born as a goal. The computer you’re reading this on – the software used to enable this communication – the house you live in – the warm air from the furnace – all conceived first from thought – as a goal.

So how do we turn our goals from paper into reality?

Andy’s Goal Setting Tips has some great tools attached in helping you. Here are some great tools from the list and a couple of our own that we’ve learned from experience.

• Use a journal to keep track of your goals: Keep daily or weekly records of your progress including affirmations, successes, appreciations for your hard work, rewards, resistances, obstacles, etc. We found that writing at night, just before bed is very effective. Many times we dream about what we’ve written in our journal. What that means is that you’re subconscious is working on your goals – even in your sleep! (How easy is THAT?!)
• Create a collage to support your vision: To make a goals collage, cut out pictures and words that you like from magazines and glue them onto a piece of paper the size of a placemat. (We use a cork board and pin them up – both are hung in our Master Bath.)
• Use your computer to support you in reaching goals: There are many ways you can put your goals on your computer. Scan your collage or a poster/picture that inspires you into your computer, and use it as wallpaper. (You can also use Google Images and search key words) Create a screensaver with your images or just put up a digital “post it” with your goals list.
• Carry your goals with you and read them out loud: We purchased a pack of 3X5 index cards and write down our top ten goals for the day. We write them in the present tense as if you have already achieved them and say them out loud at various times of the day. It’s important NOT to use the same list from the day before. Don’t just copy them, start with a new sheet and write down the most important goals of the day. (Some can remain the same goals from the day before, but don’t use your previous list to remind you.)
• Be grateful for what you have NOW: This is probably the most important aspect of attracting newer, more meaningful aspects (or Goals) into your life. It puts you in a positive frame of mind – what’s going right – not what’s going wrong. Ever notice how people who complain about not feeling well are always sick? People who complain about bills and money are always broke? Likewise, the people who always talk about being lucky are the luckiest people in the world. An attitude of gratitude puts you in a vibration that attracts more things to be grateful for.

These tools work – and while we don’t have the time or space to document the science behind them, there some very compelling studies that prove they work.

It’s a new beginning – a clean slate. Life is meant to be fulfilling and enjoyable – not some chore or filled with excuses to do just enough to get by.

You have no idea the POWER you possess within you. We put men on the moon – communicate with each other from all corners of the world instantly – and sit in the air at 30 thousand feet while surfing the internet at the same time.

Look at your list – what are YOU going to do that makes your life outstanding?!

You’ve taken the first – and probably most important step in achieving your goals. That’s writing them down. Now it’s time to go after them. You may not have any way of knowing just how yet – but until you doing something to move towards them – you’ll never reach your intended destination.

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Do You ZamZuu?

If you’re into learning and personal development (which we all should be – unless you’re one of those who think you know everything) the name Jim Rohn is probably a name you’ve heard of in a long list of teachers and philosophers during your journey. If your lucky, you have one of his books, tapes, CD’s, or DVD’s in your collection. If not – you most certainly should.

I just got word that Jim passed away on December 5th after an 18 month long battle with Pulmonary Fibrosis.

I was introduced to Jim many – many years ago just after I dropped out of college and started to break into the radio industry. After landing an internship with a local Top 40 station in Pittsburgh, a 20 year veteran took me under his wing in the industry. It was this same veteran that not only helped me master the craft of radio and audio editing, but this mentor was also responsible for introducing me to a company called Nightingale Conant. It was Nightingale Conant that turned me onto Anthony Robins, Earl Nightingale, Brian Tracy, Dale Carnegie and yes – Jim Rohn.

Jim Rohn has produced dozens of books, audio tapes and CD’s, videos and DVD’s and seminars. I still have some of his old tapes around the house. Many of them have since been torn up or broken because I flat out wore them out. Because I chose to listen to these tapes in the car while transporting myself to remote stations to polish my craft, I found myself being offered and breaking into larger and larger markets. Jim was instrumental in my journey and progression in the radio industry. Jim was even partly responsible for my decision to go back to school years later, when I was older, wiser, and ready to study. (Thanks to what he taught.)

It wasn’t until I got involved with YTB and the MLM industry back in 2005 that I actually saw the impact Jim had on so many lives. One of the reasons I appreciate the Network Marketing industry as much as I do is because just about everyone you come across in this industry also absorbs personal development and professional growth books like Jim’s. Many not only know the name Jim Rohn – but often quote many of his classic one liners and teachings that are so practical from this highly regarded and loved “Business Philosopher”.

Thing is, Jim Rohn didn’t really teach MLM, marketing or sales stuff. Although the foundation of MLM is helping other people either achieve or get what they want is a philosophy that Jim taught. His words however, were more common sense approaches to making yourself a better person. Jim was also really big on increasing your value in the marketplace. Those involved in MLM appreciate how important it is to learn and grow – and the industry certainly supports those who take the time to educate and learn on their own.

“Formal education will make you a living; self-education will make you a fortune.”
~ Jim Rohn

Jim has helped millions set their sails with knowledge and understanding. When the winds appear to pick up or change direction, the ones who have learned to stay the course are usually the ones who succeed in this life.

Jim had five major “Pieces To the Life Puzzle”.

• Philosophy – how you think
• Attitude – how you feel
• Action – what you do
• Results – measure often to see if you are making progress
• Lifestyle – the kind of life you can make for yourself out of the first four pieces

Master these and watch your life change drastically – for the better.

I’m still a work in progress, but thanks to Jim and his teachings – I’ve accomplished far more with being introduced to him than I would have without him. His words and ideas make me a better person – and for that I am grateful.

We lost a good one this weekend. Although I never actually met the man, his tapes enabled me to learn much about him and I felt like he was a friend. I’m sad to see him gone, but his books, CD’s and DVD’s will live on forever.

He left this world a far better place because of it.

Thank you Jim. You always led by example that helping people was were it was at – and you certainly helped me in more was than you will ever know.

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Do You ZamZuu?

One of the reasons why I like Thanksgiving so much is because it’s the one time of year that most people take the time to be thankful. If some would realize what gratitude would do for their daily lives, a lot more people would use the practice on a daily – or at least weekly basis. The concept of stinkin’ thinkin’ would be a thing of the past.

As I start to formulate some of my goals and things I want to accomplish moving into 2010, there’s been a new resurgence of late about using gratitude as a daily practice. I do take time nearly every day to think about things I should be grateful for. Just this little effort has been so profound, that I’m not only doing more and more of it, but it’s one of the first New Years Resolutions on my 2010 list.

If you’ve watched the movie “The Secret” or read anything related to personal development and self improvement, one of the most significant and simple things you can do to improve any outcome is taking the time each day to write down a few things you’re grateful for. It doesn’t need to be fancy (although I’ve seen “Gratitude Journals” you can purchase for this very practice) but it should be done as a way of moving the negative things out of the way and allowing more positive and meaningful events and opportunities into your life.

Earlier this week I caught wind that Oprah is ending her long running talk show after 25 years. I may have seen her show less than 5 times for whatever reason in all those years. One of those times was to watch an episode with the teachers of “The Secret”. I believe it was James Arthur Ray who said you can’t receive anything new until you let go of the old. It’s like trying to fill a bucket – you can’t fill it with anything new, until you empty out some of it’s current contents. It’s a known scientific fact that the mind can’t compute two opposite thoughts or feelings at the same time. You can’t be both angry and happy at the same time. You can’t picture a tall building and a small building at the same time, and you can’t think about being sick and healthy at the same time.

What a gratitude journal does is help you empty out the old negative thoughts and feelings and replace them with more meaningful and useful thoughts that empower you. Your life always moves in the direction of the minds most dominant thought. Have you ever noticed how people who always complain about being sick are always sick? The people who constantly complain about bad things happening to them or always complain “why” have such bad luck?

Transversely, those who are constantly happy go lucky always have all the luck. Those who talk about moving up the company ladder are the ones sitting in the posh corner office with the new promotion.

This Thanksgiving, I have very personal and practical experience of what letting go of the old – negative aspects in your life and replacing them with new more empowering thoughts of gratitude can do.

About 2 months ago I made a choice to put the YTB critics on ignore. I quit reading the garbage and trash talk because the practice had broken through responsible and respectable social norms. The ideas and perspective of this small group had never matched my own experience or knowledge obtained from more reliable and unbiased sources. Furthermore, throughout this last year others who were exposed to the tactics labeled their activity as “redundant, immaterial, impertinent, or scandalous matter” while another outside source called the emotional outbursts a “bizarre and complete waste of time“.

Therefore, I made the choice to let it all go and move on.

I don’t remember, nor am I going to dig up the exact quote or thread, but I did go back once since I made this choice. While reading the comments section someone called someone else a “goats butt” and the words stopped me dead in my tracks. After being removed for some time, the words were extremely glaring and brought the entire two years of bantering into perspective for me. When I asked myself what value the activity possessed for anyone who read it, I couldn’t even justify it with an answer – so I simply hit the little “x” at the top right hand corner and haven’t been back since.

As a result, I’ve been able to focus more time and effort on more productive and meaningful articles that promote the value of YTB. Home life has become much more loving and fun – and opportunities have presented themselves that have produced a better financial foundation for everyone involved.

In addition, because I’m not being fed all this negative crap about how impossible it is to succeed, I’ve actually been able to resolve a couple of issues. One of the most time consuming over the last two years has been a dispute with a number of credit card companies who decided to change their rules and finance charges. Because I took exception to the changes and decided to fight, several suits were filed and a battle ensued in court. Because of various changes in legislation and because the National Arbitration Forum was not only exposed as a fraud but shut down, and coincidentally because I stopped reading how impossible it was, I resolved and cleaned up the mess I created for myself.

To state that I’m grateful to have these suits settled and dismissed by the plaintiffs is an understatement.

My family life has grown to new heights. Ronda has seen the changes in my ability to get more done now that I don’t spend so much time reading nothing more than insults, and I tend to be more responsive to the needs and responsibilities as head of the house. The kids are doing exceptionally well in school. While there’s always room for improvement, we’ve learned some new ways of motivating and helping them resolve any problems or issues they encounter. As a result, there is more open communication between us as they continue to learn and grow. Kids will be kids, and they’ll always explore boundaries – but there is far more confidence in our abilities to parent and help them grow into responsible adults.

We’re also spending more time together as a family. Not only have we spent time together on a cruise, but the holidays will also be spent with extended family for extended periods of time. Because I’m in the drivers seat with my own business and opportunities, we can enjoy this time together.

Lastly – and probably most importantly – I continue to be blown away over the readership of this blog and our newsletter. I started this blog back in 2005 and the newsletter a little less than two years ago. To see the traffic and the links created pointing here and how the newsletter has grown to thousands of subscribers is humbling. To think that an average guy like myself can have the following I’ve created and the friendships that have been formed because of both this blog and newsletter is a true testimony of what honesty, persistence, and a desire to help others can truly do. Each hit to this blog, and each subscriber that comes in for the newsletter is something that I give thanks for each and every day.

I believe that none of this would have come to fruition if I didn’t extract the negative and focus on the things that I should be grateful for in my life. Some of them are small, like watching my daughter actually empty the dishwasher and vacuum the rug right now. Others appear to be large, like the two year battle I endured with the with critics and the credit card companies. The point here is that no matter how big or how insignificant you might think anything is, you need to give thanks for anything that happens because no matter what it is – there is a valuable lesson to be learned.

If you can learn and grow – no matter how uncomfortable it might be to take responsibility and face it head on – that my friends is something to be truly be thankful for on the other side once you’ve been able to see the fruits of your labor and choices.

Be thankful and grateful – not just tomorrow – but each and every day with an attitude of gratitude and watch you life and circumstances change like it has mine.

Happy Thanksgiving all!

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Do You ZamZuu?

I was looking over my schedule last night for today’s to-do’s. Like a brick – it suddenly hit me.

20 years ago today, October 15, 1989 I was sitting in a bar watching my Pittsburgh Steelers beat up on Bernie Kosar and the Cleveland Browns. After the game I walked across the street to my local AA Home Group, drunk. It was there I stood up and announced that I would be going into Rehab the next day and I would be back in 4 weeks clean and sober.

Little did I realize at the time that I wouldn’t pick up another drink or drug for the next 20 years. To even speculate something like that was far to immense.

If there’s one thing I can think of that’s kept me from picking up all these years – it’s the battle I endured while in detox the first couple of days in Rehab. I can still remember the cold sweats, the shaking, and the craving for a drink like it was yesterday. It’s something I’ll never forget. (And something I’m not willing to go through again.)

I was a functioning alcoholic. I drank from the time I woke up to the time I passed out at night. I didn’t do anything without a beer in my hand and when I sobered up, I had to re-learn everything – this time sober. It was like my right arm had been chopped off and I had no clue how to do anything without the aid of a beer in hand.

1989 was my second shot at rehab. I went for all the wrong reasons 3 1/2 years earlier for my parents who gave me an ultimatum early in 1986. However, I had just turned 21 the year before, and I certainly had no intent of giving up alcohol at that time. I “managed” my drinking for a while, but was soon back to the same ol’ same old when I finally called it quits just 3 1/2 years later.

I was also a very mean drunk. You didn’t want to mess with me back then – or even kid with me. Look at me the wrong way, and I’d find a way to make you’re life pure hell. I damaged a lot of relationships back then.

Thanks to AA and the 12 step program I still use to this day in my everyday life, I made amends to those I hurt and today, I have great relationships with family and old friends. While the 12 Step Program was designed and created for alcoholics – the same steps are used today for gambling, food disorders, even sexual additions that destroy your own quality of life as well as others.

Some say people can never change. I’m living proof that you can. The trick is a willingness to change. You can’t do it for someone else, you can’t do it for superficial motives, and you can’t do it under your own conditions. Change means just that, and when someone makes a drastic change like drinking it’s a whole new way of thinking, acting, and doing.

Life isn’t perfect now that I’m sober. I still have my share of problems and adversity. Because of my experience and the ability to use the tools I acquired during my recovery, I’m far better equipped to handle the challenges that life throws my way. I’ve learned to trust my own instincts and do what’s best for me and my family regardless of how difficult of bad it might look to others. Most importantly, I learned who I need listen to, and who needs to be taken with a grain of salt when it comes to dealing with the problems that arise.

If someone tells you what they think – you can take it or leave it. But if someone tells you something from experience – you better listen.

Because I live my life sober today, I handle and deal with life much differently. I look at things rationally and logically without the cloud of alcohol or drugs. I also deal with issues instead of trying to hide from them or drown them in alcohol. It may not be comfortable, and it may not turn out exactly the way I want, but with every adversity and challenge there is a lesson to be learned which I grow from and makes me a better person.

Micheal Keaton stared in “Clean and Sober” back in 1988. I rented the movie just before I went into rehab. I have to admit, it was a tough movie for me to watch. I hit home on so many levels and is by far the most authentic depiction of the struggles of addiction and getting clean. As the credits rolled at the end of the movie the song Domino, by Van Morrison played. I remember sitting there, stunned at the course of my life at that time.

The morning I drove up to the rehab center, where I would be spending the next 28 days, Domino came up on the radio as we entered the driveway. I asked if I could sit there and listen to the song for a minute as I thought about what I was about to experience and if this song playing at this time had any special meaning for me.

I can tell you that 20 years later, it still does.

I can’t remember the last time I wanted to pick up a drink. It’s just not an option for me. But I don’t think there’s a day that goes by without thinking about being a recovering alcoholic. It’s not something that I need to hide from – or feel compelled to force down anyone’s throat. It’s a choice I made for myself. I have family members and friends who are able to drink responsibly and I’m certainly not going to allow normal behavior or responsibility force me into hiding or prohibit me from living a normal life. I’ve learned to co-exist with alcohol just as long as it’s not consumed by me.

Sobriety has taught me tolerance – it’s given me strength and wisdom – and it’s change my whole outlook on life. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. If you would have told me back then however, that I would writing something like this today, I don’t know if I would have believed you.

But here I am…clean and sober for 20 years. And all it took was one day at a time.

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