I know I’m on vacation this week, but I wanted to post a quick thank you for all the Birthday wishes yesterday. My e-mail and my Facebook page were covered with well wishes and it’s a real honor to have such good friends who take the time to send their comments and wishes – especially on a day like yesterday.

It was a really good day. My wife made my favorite dish, lasagna, and the kids decided that “everybody needs to play games on their birthday”, so that’s exactly what we did. To see a birthday through a child’s eyes is really something.

Absolutely adorable!

After seeing all the comments and wishes from you, I felt compelled to return my thanks for thinking of me as well. You’re a good group of friends and your thoughts and comments mean more than you’ll ever know.

I am grateful for having you as a friend. Thank you!

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As I think back to my early childhood, there are a couple of events that I can recall. One of them was watching Armstrong land on the moon. The other was a year prior. The day Dr. Martin Luther King was assassinated. I think one of the reasons I remember the faint flicker on the television, was because the news interrupted the celebration of my fourth birthday.

April 4, 1968

I don’t really recall anything else growing up as a child concerning the Civil Rights Movement. The now famous “I Have A Dream” speech on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial was 8 months before I was even born. Nor did I have any knowledge of the type of segregation or prejudice that existed in our Country. It wasn’t until I reached my Middle School and High School years that I became aware of the Movement as a history lesson – not experience.

I always think about that flicker on the television this time of year. How peaceful Dr. King was. How violent others were. And yet, how he was able to change history. Two score and six years ago, there was a peaceful march in Washington to speak up and say:

“We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation.“

Nineteen sixty-three was not an end, but a beginning. There was neither rest nor tranquility in it’s pursuit. Because of one man’s undeniable dream, others followed long after he was gone to produce a true American Triumph for this Country. 

I took some time to read Dr. Kings “I Have A Dream” speech yesterday. How the Civil Rights Movement challenged “that all men would be guaranteed the inalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” – and realize how he had won.

At the same time I read the text, I couldn’t help but think of the prejudice and bigotry that exists for those of us who work in the MLM industry. How people I know and love are ostracized, ridiculed, and spit at with insults simply because they work in MLM. I looked at Dr. Kings words and could feel the frustration of knowing what is right and just – yet the power within him to deny the frustration and insist that there could be change.

Peaceful change.

Along with being a student of the Travel Industry the last few years, I’ve also become a student of the Network Marketing industry. What I’ve come to know without a doubt, is MLM is full of theories and myths. Theories are great, but they don’t mean a thing if they’re not practical.

Or even worse – dis-proven.

One of the best “theories” I know of is this myth about running out of people – that MLM can’t be sustained. I can’t tell you how many times this graph showing the “unsustainable exponential progression of a classic pyramid scheme” is thrown up in my face.

True, the math is correct. Also true, the theory exceeds the world’s population.

Therefore, it should also be true that we should be able to find an example of when it’s actually happened.

But where?

Not only has it never happened, an MLM that’s been around since 1886 is STILL able to sustain itself by sharing the business with friends, family, and acquaintances. You just might have heard them. They changed their name in 1939 to AVON. Then add in an Association that supports and defends the Network Marketing model that’s celebrating it’s 100th anniversary this year. (Created in 1910 as the DSA.) The Direct Selling Association protects and serves another 200 companies who use Direct Sales as a model.

So why do so many use theory that’s not only never happened but proven invalid?

We often think of the fight against prejudice when we think of the Civil Rights Movement. I looked up the word last night and here’s the definition:

an unfavorable opinion or feeling formed beforehand or without knowledge, thought, or reason.

More times than not, that’s exactly what we see when it comes to MLM and Network Marketing. Some were shown this unsustainable graph and without any knowledge of the history behind Avon, Fuller Brush, Tupperware, Mary Kay, and a host of others, they accept it as fact instead of just a theory. Most all staunch critics or cynics of the industry merely come from prior programming like this. And because prejudice comes without thought or reason, it can be extremely difficult to extract the weeds that are now overgrown and choke the sunlight needed to help them grow.

Another word we often think of concerning the struggle of the Civil Right Movement is bigotry. And yes, I looked for a definition of this word as well.

stubborn and complete intolerance of any creed, belief, or opinion that differs from one’s own.

I don’t know about you…but boy does that strike a cord with me when you look at the insults, the spitting, the dirt digging and the childish pranks that critics and cynics have pulled over the years. If I had a dime for every time I’ve heard that I need to find another host, what a scammer, a liar, and not so proud member of the dumbass den I am – I wouldn’t need MLM.

I’d be independently wealthy.

Yes, it’s frustrating to read the words of a bigot, especially when you’re the one who has the relationship with their subjects at hand and not them. But remember these words when you see the emotional outburst and anger that are evident on the various blogs and boards concerning our company, our Founders, and our people.

In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.

We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.

Some try to confuse and muddy discipline with bigotry. It angers and frustrates a bigot that their differing views and opinions have boundaries – that they can’t be heard or express their intolerance everywhere and anywhere. A big reason why I am the subject of much of bitterness and hatred they have.

I fight intolerance and differing creeds with silence. And that’s the worst thing you can do in the eyes of a bigot, because their self worth is tied to their beliefs which need to be heard in order to be valid. Otherwise, like the theories they spit out become invalid.

I’m no Martin Luther King – and I don’t have the fraction of the following or voice that he had. But I can pass his message on, especially on a day like today to help us continue the fight “that all men would be guaranteed the inalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness”.

For me, that includes a dream that I have a right to pursue and promote my YTB business without ridicule, insults, or slander.

Sounds like a long shot I know. But so did the Civil Rights Movement when Dr. King spoke on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial having no idea that 45 years later his Dream would realize a true American Triumph.

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I lost count how many times I’ve said this…but I’m gonna say it again.

A cruise is the best vacation money could buy.

It was nice to have family (including extended family) together for another cruise. Our daughter called it “The best birthday EVER!” and our son has caught the same bug we did some 12 years ago when Ronda and I took our first cruise.

I did hit the internet for a grand total of 25 minutes, but didn’t even open the laptop until almost the very end of the cruise to download a couple gigs worth of pictures that I took. (Some 400 shots all together on a Fuji S9000 camera I just love.) I uploaded about 60 of them on my Facebook page and will get around to putting more up on Webshots at some point. (Then again – I still have pictures from our last cruise I haven’t uploaded.)

The kids have really gotten the hang of cruise thing. Brittany thoroughly enjoyed dressing up for formal night. (So much so, that she had to get all dressed up for her birthday night.) Brian found the ice cream machines and the 24 hour pizzeria and hardly ate anything else the entire week. Camp Carnival was FABULOUS for both kids. When they ask if they can go, you just know it’s a hit. (Which impressed both Ronda and I.) They really had a great time and our hats are off to all the counselors who took great care of our kids.

Our daughters birthday was an exceptional day in Gran Cayman. The entire family got involved on the Cayman Pirate Adventure as the kids and I were recruited to swab the deck (I was given a tooth brush) and “Mommy Spank Bottom” was tied up and forced to promise to never spank the bottoms of our kids again. Afterward, everyone walked the plank and enjoyed the warm tropical water.

Later that evening we celebrated Brittany’s birthday with the family and wait staff of the Universe Dinning room. Brittany loves to be the center of attention any other time, and handled her birthday no differently. The entire ship was told it was her birthday and she ate up all the attention. (As she always does.)

It’s still amazes me how many first time cruisers I continue to run into. We talked with a number of first time cruisers on this trip who raved about the service, the food, and the size of this floating resort. Non of them had any idea what they were missing, and have all been transformed into cruise-a-holics like we are.

While it’s nice being back, I miss the romance and relaxation of the sea. I bit warmer down in the Caribbean as well. We’re already planning our next cruise and may turn it into a neighborhood event. With another Carnival Sail-A-Thon coming up next week, it would be a perfect time to get the neighbors together to discuss the option of going. (More on the Sail-A-Thon here later, and in this weekends newsletter.)

A trip like this one is part of my “why” I stick with YTB.

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By the time you read this, our family will be in Ocho Rios, Jamaica. I’ve come equiped with my  “What part of NO do you not understand?” T-shirt which I purchased the last time we were in port here. (For those of you who have been here, you know why we need a shirt like this.) We’ll spend a relaxing day at Bamboo Beach Club since the kids wanted some beach time. (And still too young for Dunn’s River Falls)

Tomorrow is a big day in Grand Cayman. We’ll do a couple of excursions including swashbuckling on a Cayman Pirate Adventure in the morning and then spend the afternoon at Dolphin Discovery and the Cayman Turtle Farm.

Later that evening, we will dine and celebrate my daughters 8th (going on 18) birthday aboard Carnival Destiny.

This particular ship has been the top pick for a number of our clients since it was refurbished and started sailing it’s 4 and 5 day itineraries to the Caribbean from Miami. When Ronda and I were awarded Team MVP by our Directors at Convention and given a Carnival Gift Certificate as a way to say thanks for all we do, I pretty much immediately knew when and were we wanted to go.

Of course, you can’t have a proper birthday party without family involved. So we invited extended family to come along for the party on the World’s Most Popular Cruise Line. (They know a really good Travel Agent who got them one heck of a deal.)

So while you enjoy RPM and Red Carpet Day, we’ll be stuck down here in the Caribbean – thousands of miles away. (And lovin’ every minute of it.)

I’ll probably hit the internet cafe a time or two, but don’t be looking for any posts during the week. Like our newsletter that went out yesterday, this was written and scheduled last week before we left.

To keep you entertained – check out our favorite cruise tune this trip. I’m a classic rock and roller, but Michael Franti and Spearhead’s new tune “Say Hey (I love you)” gave me happy feet the first time I heard it. It’s got a create Caribbean beat and will certainly give you the itch.

So until I get back around the way – Enjoy!

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I was looking over my schedule last night for today’s to-do’s. Like a brick – it suddenly hit me.

20 years ago today, October 15, 1989 I was sitting in a bar watching my Pittsburgh Steelers beat up on Bernie Kosar and the Cleveland Browns. After the game I walked across the street to my local AA Home Group, drunk. It was there I stood up and announced that I would be going into Rehab the next day and I would be back in 4 weeks clean and sober.

Little did I realize at the time that I wouldn’t pick up another drink or drug for the next 20 years. To even speculate something like that was far to immense.

If there’s one thing I can think of that’s kept me from picking up all these years – it’s the battle I endured while in detox the first couple of days in Rehab. I can still remember the cold sweats, the shaking, and the craving for a drink like it was yesterday. It’s something I’ll never forget. (And something I’m not willing to go through again.)

I was a functioning alcoholic. I drank from the time I woke up to the time I passed out at night. I didn’t do anything without a beer in my hand and when I sobered up, I had to re-learn everything – this time sober. It was like my right arm had been chopped off and I had no clue how to do anything without the aid of a beer in hand.

1989 was my second shot at rehab. I went for all the wrong reasons 3 1/2 years earlier for my parents who gave me an ultimatum early in 1986. However, I had just turned 21 the year before, and I certainly had no intent of giving up alcohol at that time. I “managed” my drinking for a while, but was soon back to the same ol’ same old when I finally called it quits just 3 1/2 years later.

I was also a very mean drunk. You didn’t want to mess with me back then – or even kid with me. Look at me the wrong way, and I’d find a way to make you’re life pure hell. I damaged a lot of relationships back then.

Thanks to AA and the 12 step program I still use to this day in my everyday life, I made amends to those I hurt and today, I have great relationships with family and old friends. While the 12 Step Program was designed and created for alcoholics – the same steps are used today for gambling, food disorders, even sexual additions that destroy your own quality of life as well as others.

Some say people can never change. I’m living proof that you can. The trick is a willingness to change. You can’t do it for someone else, you can’t do it for superficial motives, and you can’t do it under your own conditions. Change means just that, and when someone makes a drastic change like drinking it’s a whole new way of thinking, acting, and doing.

Life isn’t perfect now that I’m sober. I still have my share of problems and adversity. Because of my experience and the ability to use the tools I acquired during my recovery, I’m far better equipped to handle the challenges that life throws my way. I’ve learned to trust my own instincts and do what’s best for me and my family regardless of how difficult of bad it might look to others. Most importantly, I learned who I need listen to, and who needs to be taken with a grain of salt when it comes to dealing with the problems that arise.

If someone tells you what they think – you can take it or leave it. But if someone tells you something from experience – you better listen.

Because I live my life sober today, I handle and deal with life much differently. I look at things rationally and logically without the cloud of alcohol or drugs. I also deal with issues instead of trying to hide from them or drown them in alcohol. It may not be comfortable, and it may not turn out exactly the way I want, but with every adversity and challenge there is a lesson to be learned which I grow from and makes me a better person.

Micheal Keaton stared in “Clean and Sober” back in 1988. I rented the movie just before I went into rehab. I have to admit, it was a tough movie for me to watch. I hit home on so many levels and is by far the most authentic depiction of the struggles of addiction and getting clean. As the credits rolled at the end of the movie the song Domino, by Van Morrison played. I remember sitting there, stunned at the course of my life at that time.

The morning I drove up to the rehab center, where I would be spending the next 28 days, Domino came up on the radio as we entered the driveway. I asked if I could sit there and listen to the song for a minute as I thought about what I was about to experience and if this song playing at this time had any special meaning for me.

I can tell you that 20 years later, it still does.

I can’t remember the last time I wanted to pick up a drink. It’s just not an option for me. But I don’t think there’s a day that goes by without thinking about being a recovering alcoholic. It’s not something that I need to hide from – or feel compelled to force down anyone’s throat. It’s a choice I made for myself. I have family members and friends who are able to drink responsibly and I’m certainly not going to allow normal behavior or responsibility force me into hiding or prohibit me from living a normal life. I’ve learned to co-exist with alcohol just as long as it’s not consumed by me.

Sobriety has taught me tolerance – it’s given me strength and wisdom – and it’s change my whole outlook on life. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. If you would have told me back then however, that I would writing something like this today, I don’t know if I would have believed you.

But here I am…clean and sober for 20 years. And all it took was one day at a time.

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Yesterday, my bride turned 40. I got her one of those new age cards to help her celebrate.

It said that her new age was 34.

She really liked that card!

We were out at dinner last night and started talking about all the things that have changed, didn’t exist, or means something completely different than it did 40 years ago when she was born. Here are a dozen things that use to mean one thing back then, but today means something completely different.

1. Call waiting referred to a line outside of a phone booth.

2. A flat screen was something you put in your window to keep out insects.

3. An airbag was someone who talked too much.

4. Spam was found only in the kitchen.

5. A cell phone was what you used to make your one call from jail.

6. Guys only got pierced ears from going to really loud concerts

7. High-speed access was an on-ramp to the freeway.

8. A mouse referred to an animal you wanted to keep out of the house.

9. A dish was something you put on the kitchen table, not the side of the house.

10. A virus was something that was only found in the body.

11. A CD was put into a bank.

12. A birthday was something you actually looked forward too.

Lordy, lordy how things have changed!

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7 years ago today, I was hired for one of the most important, most rewarding, and most demanding jobs I’ve ever had.

 I became a father.

I’ve written about my little girl, AKA: Schmoopsie Pooh, along with her younger brother of 20 months AKA: Googley Bear here before. I don’t know how in the world I did it, but I happened to produce two of the most beautiful children on the fact of this earth. Being a father of these two souls, and watching them grow and learn has got to be the absolutely best experience I’ve ever had.

While Brittany turns 7, and acts like she’s 17 at times, there is such a beautiful innocents and wonder about this age and stage in her life. Over the last year I’ve begun to see “my little girl” grow up and mature right before my eyes. Gone are the kids shows that her brother still enjoys. Gone are the little toys that are replaced with things like books and writing tablet. Gone is the dependence on either myself or my wife to do things for her. And she now shares in some form of responsibility in maintaining a couple of chores around the house.

I always knew I wanted to be a father and I’ve always had a very special bond with children my entire life. I get a lot of this from my mother as she has a very special touch that I don’t hold a candle too. I worked my way through high school and college working in day care centers, and also acting in children’s theatres in the Northeast. I have the distinct honor of being an original cast member in a not so wildly successful play called “Patchwork”. Though it was never ready for any prime time players, my name is in the book as being the first cast member of this children’s play.

I remember people, more specifically other “parents” telling me how being a father would “change my life”. While I thought I had some concept of what they were talking about, I’ve come to find out that honestly, I didn’t have a clue. To this day I remember the very first time I set eyes on her in the hospital just seconds after she came into this world. The second thing I remember thinking, (right after “my God, she looks just like me”.) was “Oh, this is what they were talking about.”

Being a parent isn’t something you can explain, it’s something you have to experience in order to get the full meaning of. Even for someone like myself who is well versed in putting things down on paper, or in my case this blog. The “Parent” experience just can’t be put into words to help those who haven’t or are about to experience what it’s like. Sure we can give you story after story, lesson after lesson, but until you actually do it yourself, it just doesn’t have the same effect.

It’s that special. It’s that meaningful.

I’ll be heading to school at lunch today to deliver a special “birthday cookie” for her and her friends and probably embarrass the hell out her as I’ll be singing “Happy Birthday” the loudest of the entire bunch. (Remember, I have “theatre” experience.) We’ll sit and enjoy some time together mid day with her class mates some of whom spent their first sleep over at our house this weekend. (Another long post in itself, trust me!) I’m just thankful I missed the high pitched screams of all the girls as they wooed all over Zac Efron in High School Musical 3 in theatres all across the country.

I remember being in the hospital with her just days after she was born. Pittsburgh was playing Tennessee on Monday Night Football. I of course had gotten a very cute sleeper with Steelers logo’s as I wore my Kordell Stewart jersey to watch the game together in the hospital room. She was an angel right from the start, and didn’t say a word. (The staff on the floor however, did have a few choice words over the noise I was making.)

We brought her home just a few days later on Halloween. While I was ready and willing to start my fatherly duties that night and take her trick or treating, Ronda had other ideas. Fortunately being only a few days old, I don’t think Brittany has any memories of missing her first Halloween and I can assure you that missing the experience did not scar her for life.

Another year has passed, and she’s another year older. Hard to believe and yes it’s blown by in the blink of an eye. Next thing you know I’m going to writing about walking her down the isle. I realize that’s another 30 years away, but if the last 7 have gone by this fast, she’ll be dating in just 29 years.

There is something she’ll never outgrow with me. When she does turn 36 and I let her start dating, I’ll still be saying “Happy Birthday little girl”.

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